Thayamie for squarespace-2.jpg

Journal

This is where I tell you about me and my journey as an over the road truck driver transitioning to become a glamour portrait photographer in the Ft Worth area.

Exist in Photos

Mother's Day and Loss

This last Sunday was Mother's Day!  Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there!  Even though I was on the road, our son still called to wish me a Happy Mother's Day and to talk a bit about what's going on in his life.  It lightens my heart to hear his voice every time he calls me, even just to vent.  Being a mother is the greatest joy I've ever experienced. 

But, I was also saddened this Mother's Day as I am with all Mother's Days.  Thirteen years ago my husband lost his mother to cancer.  The woman that raised my wonderful husband and a person that I've loved and cared for. A year later I lost my mother to a heart attack that was brought on by her not taking care of her diabetes.  A mother that taught me that life is hard, but you still have fun with it.  This last September I lost my grandmother to a flu that just zapped the energy right out of her, but I'm happy to say she lived full and long life.  This woman taught me about discipline and hard work, and that you have to earn everything you want. 

What I'm sad to say about these losses is that I wish I'd taken a proper portrait of each of these beautiful women in my life.  They all had a great impact on me and the way I am today, and that includes my mother-in-law.  Each one of them deserved a proper portrait that would've shown their individuality, their beauty and their strength.  

Exist...

Each of these women existed in my life and in our families lives, and they made such a huge difference on who we are as a family.  They worked hard at home and at work to create a better life for us and our families.  They were a part of our lives at family celebrations, holidays and birthdays, but we sometimes didn't capture their involvement, and that saddens me.  Don't get me wrong, we have photos of them, but they don't show the true impact they had on our lives.  Each of these women gave birth to us, fed us, raised us, whipped us when we were bad and misbehaved, they taught us right from wrong and how to love each other.  

I have photos of each of these women, I wish I had more.  That is something I'm trying to change everyday that I'm alive.  I take a lot of photos of the ones I love.  It doesn't matter if it's with my big girl camera, my film camera or my cell phone.  I'm taking pictures and having them printed so I can have the people I love exist in photos, because life is too short! 

...in Photos

Now that I have the knowledge and the means to do it, I'm taking proper portraits of the ones I love (except I haven't talked my son into it yet, he hates cameras).  Some of my goals this year is to take proper portraits of my sister-in-law, my Aunt in Oklahoma and my cousins, and hopefully of my Aunt in Spokane.  We have a small family that's getting smaller and time is getting shorter.  Think about it, every day we're on this earth is a day closer to our last day on this earth.  

I was just looking at my family lineage on ancestry.com and I was happy to say that I have a lot of photos of the people in my family tree (something you don't see in a lot of the family trees).  When I'm on the road I have my computer to be able to see the photos of my loved ones, many of the older photos I've scanned and put them on my external drive, and that's comforting to look at from time to time.  When I'm at home, I have printed photos around the apartment, and it warms my heart to see them when I walk in the door.  I just really wish that I had a proper portrait of these beautiful, strong and vibrant women that impacted me so much! 

Final word...

What ever you take from this post, please remember to enjoy life, enjoy the day and to take lots of photos for the memories and get them printed.  But don't forget that having a portrait of yourself, or your loved ones for your family is the most valuable and lasting gift anyone could possess. Peace Out!

 

 

 

Danni Irene Zak